We've been home with our Ethiopian children for 3 weeks now. And I'm feeling the pressure. Pressure I didn't think I would be feeling so heavy at only 3 weeks home... Academic pressure!
Everybody told me during the adoption process how I would be so good at teaching my children English and reading and such with my Literacy Launchpad experience. But I feel VERY ill-equipped. Introducing preschoolers to the joys of books and reading is a far cry from teaching English to a six year old and ten year old who are going through a traumatic transition.
To be honest, right now I don't even feel motivated. This whole family of 5 thing is still so new to us all. And I'm more interested in working on that right now than doing phonics drills with them.
BUT, we started them in public school (a decision I'm torn about) and now the homework begins and the pressure is on. Or at least that's how I feel And while they are by no means expected to be doing what their peers are doing in class, they still get ESL homework... And Mel has math to work on right now. And while I know that school is what they need now, it's hard to have teachers to answer to. It's hard to feel like those 3 or 4 hours between school and bedtime aren't ALL mine!
Then there's the reading thing. Isaac loves books. My Ethiopian children... not so interested. Mel is mildly interested. Mary is hardly. And why would they be? They don't understand what's being read to them. Right now, they are only interested in electronic things (which we have been trying to keep at a minimum).
I have a lot of knowledge in my noggin about how to raise a reader from birth. But I'm not so sure about raising a reader from where we're at. I worry that my children will never be fluent readers. I worry that they will never feel good at reading. I worry that they won't want to read. And I worry that they won't like reading. That's a lot of worrying.
It's all so overwhelming for this momma who's a bit of a perfectionist. So I had to vent into "the cosmic void" this evening.
Goodnight, Dear Void.
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