Shifting the Paradigm

I've been home with my Ethiopian children for 8 weeks now. And my world is totally shook up.

Life with three kids is WAY harder than life with one.

Post Adoption Depression is very real, and very complex.

I have no idea when I will return to teaching Literacy Launchpad classes to my kiddos. Soon, I hope. But right now, nothing seems clear.

I am in the midst of a major paradigm shift. My reality is that I have two older children from a totally different culture, whose backgrounds are still very much a mystery to me, they have very special needs, and my oldest has never been to school and struggles much more academically than her younger brother.

This is totally new terrain for me... A mom who read to her bio child everyday while he was in her womb and hasn't quit since. A gal who is passionate about children's literacy, and strongly desires to limit electronics and TV time and such in my household.

I am talking and talking and talking with other adoptive parents and realizing that expectations must be lowered. Concessions must be made. I have to meet these kids where they are, and for the sanity of us all, allow much more screen time and much less reading than I can hardly stomach.

I mean, there's only so much reading I can do with a 10 yr. old who doesn't know their ABCs yet. She actually is asking for bedtime stories now though AND listening to them while I read. Progress.

Today I made them little blank books and they cut out magazine pictures to illustrate them. Yesterday I gave them card making kits and they made Christmas cards for some of their friends.

For Christmas, they are getting Vtechs. GASP! I hardly recognize myself anymore, I know. But it's all about shifting my paradigm. It's very hard. It kind of feels like it's slowly killing a little part of me each day (O.K. a little dramatic).

What's hardest is that my 2 yr. old is now consequently watching more TV and such. More so over Christmas break here, but even when the kids are in school there's more that needs to be done and less time to just sit and read like we used to.

I think this is all a healthy perspective that I really needed to gain as an educator. I was really idealistic, and didn't even realize it till now. I'm trying to look at all this paradigm shifting as a learning experience... a needed maturing.

I'm still trying to fight the good reading fight, but some days it just feels a lot more like a losing battle than it used it.

I Need A Pep Talk!

We've been home with our Ethiopian children for 3 weeks now. And I'm feeling the pressure. Pressure I didn't think I would be feeling so heavy at only 3 weeks home... Academic pressure!

Everybody told me during the adoption process how I would be so good at teaching my children English and reading and such with my Literacy Launchpad experience. But I feel VERY ill-equipped. Introducing preschoolers to the joys of books and reading is a far cry from teaching English to a six year old and ten year old who are going through a traumatic transition.

To be honest, right now I don't even feel motivated. This whole family of 5 thing is still so new to us all. And I'm more interested in working on that right now than doing phonics drills with them.

BUT, we started them in public school (a decision I'm torn about) and now the homework begins and the pressure is on. Or at least that's how I feel And while they are by no means expected to be doing what their peers are doing in class, they still get ESL homework... And Mel has math to work on right now. And while I know that school is what they need now, it's hard to have teachers to answer to. It's hard to feel like those 3 or 4 hours between school and bedtime aren't ALL mine!

Then there's the reading thing. Isaac loves books. My Ethiopian children... not so interested. Mel is mildly interested. Mary is hardly. And why would they be? They don't understand what's being read to them. Right now, they are only interested in electronic things (which we have been trying to keep at a minimum).

I have a lot of knowledge in my noggin about how to raise a reader from birth. But I'm not so sure about raising a reader from where we're at. I worry that my children will never be fluent readers. I worry that they will never feel good at reading. I worry that they won't want to read. And I worry that they won't like reading. That's a lot of worrying.

It's all so overwhelming for this momma who's a bit of a perfectionist. So I had to vent into "the cosmic void" this evening.

Goodnight, Dear Void.

We're Home!

It's been a little quiet here for a while. I'm sorry. We got word that we were leaving for Ethiopia and it's been a whirlwind ever since.

We are now home with our two new children, Mel - 6, and Mary - 10. It's been hard, but it's been good. Adjusting to 3 kids from 1 has been tough, and has been all consuming lately. Hence the silence here.

The reality of being home and the new dynamic of our family has us reevaluating some previously made decisions. We wanted to homeschool AT LEAST for a a little while, but after a lot of thought and talking with some trusted resources, we have decided to put both Mary and Mel in public school. They will begin next week and I'm really excited to see how it goes. I think it's going to be great for everyone. I'll post more about that soon.

I feel like I am floundering with all I want to accomplish with my new kids (and Isaac) and how suddenly ill-equipped I feel. And to be completely honest, I have felt a real lack of motivation to get going on any of that. Some of that is probably jet lag. Some of it is probably this nasty cold I have come down with since returning home. And some of it is just the plain old physical and emotional exhaustion of the whole adjustment. I'm trying to have some grace with myself.

Right now, I'm trying to read simple books with the kids at naptime and bedtime. It's tough, because they don't understand English. But how else will they learn. We've also been doing some alphabet puzzles. And I've been trying to have them watch some PBS kids, but they haven't been super interested in that. Mary even less so than Mel. We have some "first word" type books that I try to encourage them to look at. They seem to like those somewhat.

I'm trying to get my inspiration and creative juices flowing again, but it's harder than I thought it would be.

Some things I want to do:

- Put some books in baskets by the potties and in the car

- Buy some kind of Leapster type devices. They are really into electronics, but I would like them to at least be learning with whatever electronics they're using. Suggestions welcome.

- I want to try to find some more good books for them. Mel I think I've got pretty covered with what I've currently got. But Mary is more tricky because she's older, but yet, can't read. She needs simple, but yet she's not interested in babyish stuff. Tough! Again, suggestions welcome.

More to come later. Just wanted to let you know we're still here!!

At Home with The Itsy Bitsy Spider

My Little Reader loves the Itsy Bitsy Spider. Both the story and the song. His interest in the song is what initially prompted me to pull the book off the shelf for our first reading... way back whenever that was. Now he sings the song with all the verses from the book mixed in. The "up jumped the cat," one seems to be his favorite.

He's been singing the song a lot lately, which reminded me of this activity I learned from my favorite preschool teacher... Jeanne Bell (note: she was not my preschool teacher, she's a preschool teacher who I simply think is brilliant). When she does this activity with her students, she dresses up like Mother Goose and has this elaborate ruse she pulls off on the kids, which is hysterical. I have a video recoding of it somewhere. I should dig it up and put it online... She would kill me!

I'm not as awesome as Mrs. Bell, so I have never dressed up like Mother Goose. But I knew Isaac would have fun with this one even if Mother Goose didn't make an appearance.

So here are some photos of Isaac and I doing the Itsy Bitsy Spider activity. You'll need a copy of the book, some plastic spider rings (at least one for each of your children or students), a curved section of rain gutter (Home Depot or Lowes), and a plastic bin for catching the water (or a bathtub in our case here).

I suspect you can see where I'm going with this based on the supply list. Check out the photos for the rest.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.

Down came the rain...

and washed...

the spider out.

Allow the spider to climb back up the waterspout as many times as you wish... or can tolerate. Make sure every student gets a turn washing the spider down the spout. And of course, let them keep their spider rings to remember the reading fun!

Guaranteed fun, and helps solidify this classic rhyme in their little heads. My students could play this activity all day long, and My Little Reader would have too if I would have allowed... But I got really tired of holding the rain gutter. Wish I could come up with a solution for that. Got any suggestions?

Let me know if you try this one out with your kiddos, and how everybody likes it!

Do You Change Your Books with the Season?

I do my best to rotate the picture books that I have out for My Little Reader. (Sometimes "my best" is rotating them every three months.)

What I really enjoy though is rotating our books according to the seasons and the holidays. It's an easy (and educational) way to make your house more festive!

Books About Family

This blog chronicles my life as an early literacy teacher. And right now my job as an early literacy teacher is to help my own three kiddos, two of which will be coming home from Ethiopia soon (still don't have a travel date yet. Wah!). I guess this is a disclaimer... or maybe an apology, for all my recent posts. Hopefully there is something to be gleaned by most of you teachers and parents reading these posts. And I've been appreciative of all the help you guys have been giving me in this area!

There are so many, many things I love about picture books. One of the things I love about them is how therapeutic they can be, and how they can open the door to talk about tough topics.

My Ethiopian children are grieving. That I already know. And when they join our family, they will be confused... unsure. Wondering if this new family is permanent. So right now I'm seeking to find some picture books that might help comfort, assure, and allow them to heal.

They aren't likely to speak much/any English when they first come home. But I've been told they pick it up quickly. I'm still not feeling very confident in my abilities to teach two older, non-English speakers, who have just been through a lot of upheaval (understatement), how to speak and read and write English. But that's a whole other post...

I'm trusting in the magic of picture books to help with the English learning while also addressing what they're dealing with emotionally, all while assisting us in the bonding process (as we snuggle and read together).

Here are some books I'm thinking might be good ones. I know this is just the tip of the iceberg, and that there are tons I'm leaving out and unaware of. So please share your book suggestions in the comments!

Rotten Ralph by Jack Gantos - I like the way it assures that love is not conditional of behavior. Sarah loves Ralph not matter what.

Llama Llama Red Pajama - Anna Dewdney - A sweet assurance that Mommy is always nearby.

The Heart and the Bottle - Oliver Jeffers - Might be over their heads, but if not, could potentially address well some of what's going on inside their little hearts.

"More More More," Said the Baby - Vera B. Williams - This is a book Isaac loves, and I do too! I love the sweet rhythm of it, and the comfort of family it communicates. What a great book to bond and attach over... And I also love that it portrays what appears to be a white grandma with her brown grandchild. This book was way ahead of it's time!

The Family Book by Todd Parr- Celebrating the diversity of families and assuring that no one family is better or worse than another.

Welcome Home, Forever Child by Christine Mitchell - This one looks like it will address some of the struggles my children will face as children that were adopted at an older age.

I must add as an end note that when you are preparing to adopt, you begin to read picture books with a different perspective. And I have discovered quite a few pictures books that I will not be reading my Ethiopian children. But that also is perhaps a post for another day!

My Home/School

My home is beginning to feel like a little school house. I've been prepping for our newest two additions to our family (via Ethiopian adoption) and for the unique challenges that older child adoption will bring (remember too that our children do not currently speak English). Some of these preparations are things I've been wanting to do anyway, for Isaac's benefit, but haven't been motivated enough.

I am convinced we will never truly be prepared, but it doesn't hurt to try. Check out a few of the things I've been getting ready:

Photo labeling toy bins for easy clean-up.

A sorted craft cabinet. So exciting!

The bookshelf in our breakfast nook. Stocked with play dough, coloring books, paints, pads of paper, pens, crayons, markers, books, CDs, puzzles...

A visual timer to help make transitions a little easier.

A velcro chart for our daily schedule. These cards will also help with communication at the beginning. They have simple pictures of everyday tasks, places, and such.

A calendar. Figure we won't be using it till the kids come home.

Art displays ready to be filled.

Yes, I'm trying to label everything in the house. Hoping it will help all three of my kids learn to read English. The labeling process is slow going, but I'm getting there. I've got enough stuff labeled now that I think David's starting to get annoyed with it. :)

I'm curious if anyone else has done this kind of labeling around their house for their kids at any point? If so, did you attribute any reading successes with it?